Allahumma 'Awslih Qalbi

Scholars said, "Afdhal-ul-'ilm 'ilm-ul-hal" (of priority or urgency is the knowledge of the state of the heart) and "Jihad-un-nafs akbar-ul-jihad" (the greatest struggle is that of the self) for "Man 'arafa nafsahu faqad 'arafa Rabbahu" (he who knows himself, knows his Lord). Indeed, "Ilaahi Anta maqsudi wa ridhoKa mathlubi 'atiqNi mahabbatiKa wa ma'rifatiKa" (O God, You are my objective, seeking to please You is my purpose, grant me the love and profound knowledge of You). Allahu-laa ilaaha illa Anta subhhanaKa inni kuntum min-ad-dholimin. Allahumma 'awslih qalbi wa 'amali. Rabbi inni lima anzalta ilaiya min khayrin faqir. WasalLahu 'ala sayyidina Muhammad wa 'ala aalii Muhammad wal hamdulilLahi rabbil 'alameen.

Uhibbukum filLah

With Ramadhan leaving us soon, I'm instinctively reminded of this beautiful story - the love of a student for his teacher. Masya-Allah, indeed Allah SWT works in miraculous ways that we can never fathom, laa hawla wala quwwata illa bilLahil aliyil 'azeem. This year, a spiritual father lost, a spiritual brother separated by distance and a newfound one starting his own family soon, alhamdulilLah. I cannot thank Allah SWT enough for His countless blessings, out of His rahmah, for surely this faqirah ilalLah (who has many shortcomings) is still struggling spiritually to find her path to her Lord and seems undeserving of a lot of the ni'mah bestowed upon her. I conclude this post with the advise from one of my teachers, "The complement to love is obedience for love without obedience is meaningless especially when one is in the place of the servant, in servitude to his/her Creator and Sustainer". Wallahu-'alam.

Irreplaceable...

My heart wept when told that Ayahanda was proud of us in terms of willingness to serve him, support RasululLah's cause, adab and above all sharing his genuine concern for the Ummah - Ummati, Ummati, Ummati. We will strive to make Ayahanda proud by sharing all that he has taught us but it would never be the same because he will forever be irreplaceable. Allahummaghfirlahu warhamhu...

Till We Meet Again, Ayahanda…

On 9 Mar 2017 at 9:47 AM (10 JamadilAkhir 1438H), my spiritual father returned to his Lord after being in a state of coma since 6 Mar 2017 (5 JamadilAkhir 1438H) due to haemorrhage stroke, bleeding in his left brain.

It was his second stroke since 2006, then there was bleeding in his right brain. He had refused surgery then and lived to teach hundreds, if not thousands (AlhamdulilLah! I was one of those lucky and privileged ones when I was introduced to him in 2009 by another of my beloved teachers), of lost souls seeking for authentic guidance, returning to the One and Only Lord.

At a time, when any sane human being would opt for surgery in order to prolong one’s life (out of fear for the ultimate – death!), Ayahanda chose Taqwa ilalLah - to have faith in Allah’s Qada’ and Qadr and redha with His plans for him.

I seek your continuous supplications for this beloved teacher of mine (and many who hold him dear to his heart, his memory etched deeply in our minds for eternity) for here stood a man, a rare gem, whose disposition reflected his principles and complete submission to Ad-Deen-ul-Islam.

He spoke from his heart and his compassion, earnestness, generosity, patience, as well as sincerity touched the hearts of others while his quick wit and sharp mind left many going, “I never thought of it that way!” and kept many a mind awake post lessons, pondering on what was taught, appreciative of his immense experience and in-depth knowledge of the Deen.

Gazing at his serene face before his journey to his resting place and witnessing the sea of people who attended his swolat jenazah, I am confident that al-marhum will be under the best of care in 'alam barzakh. For those he left behind (albeit temporarily), there is a deep void. May Allah SWT keep his family and students under His Care and Protection and guide us to those 'Ulama al-'amilin whom please Allah SWT and they, in turn, are pleased with Him (submitting to His will).

And may his students be in a capacity, bi-iznilLah, to continue his legacy – Da’wah (inviting mankind to Islam) and Islah (reforming Muslims) with wisdom – such that we attain mardhatilLah, aamiin yaa Allah!

Patience

Mum's advice - "If you hurt others, have the strength to apologize, and if others hurt you, have the strength to forgive. The people who test your patience are a blessing; without them, you cannot practise patience. Through the depths of pain, Allah SWT elevates the status of the believer. So bear your struggles with patience and prayer. Beautify your patience with silence, supplication and tears."

Indeed, the believers look for excuses. So keep the mask of silence for words are knives that can be thrown back at you. I end today's post with the quote from Sayyidina Ali Abi Talib RA, "Never explain yourself to anyone, because the one who likes you would not need it and the one who dislikes you will not believe it."

Arigato Santaro

A sudden craving by a dear friend mentioned via a random chat resulted in us ending up at Santaro (that's what friends are for)! Great food, greater company, meaningful conversation, alhamdulilLah for such perpetual blessings.

Rhetoric Too Late?

Was listening in on what John Kerry said about the two-state solution via the news. Am not one to comment on politics but the sense is that such rhetoric came too late. What follow-up action (based on the outlined theory) can constructively take place as the current president and administration prepares to exit in a few days? With God's condemnation of the rebellious nation who, in theory, is the 'chosen nation' (a claim they take pride in so do not insult their 'intelligence'), it points to a deeper state - that of a diseased self. Wa-Allahu a'lam. Please continue to du'a for Palestine.

Pieces of 2016

Returned to work after the long holiday amidst news of the demise of George Michael. I recalled the beautiful cover he did (profound lyrics); it seems that we don't get such wonderful melody and meaningful lyrics anymore... Through life's loss or separation, what remains constant is the feelings of knowing. That would suffice. When Allah SWT loves you, He places the love of you in the hearts of people whose love is worth having. So honor the guests of your heart and make supplications for those who linger in there.

O Patchi

AlhamdulilLah! I fell in love with Patchi last year during Umrah and was looking forward to meet it again. This week, my cravings have been satisfactorily satiated, thanks to a kind soul (eternally grateful!). I'm hooked for life :)

First Love

True. If I may loosely translate the quote (I hope I did justice such that the essence of the meaning was not lost in translation) - "Now and then, you think that it is easier to love everyone than to forget that one person; If there is that certain someone who already touched the core of your heart, those who succeed him/her are only touching possibility"

Walimah

AlhamdulilLah! The 4th of Zulkaedah 1435H (30 Aug 2014) was the matrimonial of my beloved cousin (adikQu) at Al-Muttaqeen mosque (such an apt name/place for this lovely young couple)! I'm so elated in sharing the happiness of the extended family. BarakalLahulakuma wa barakah 'alaykuma wa jama'ah bainakuma bil khayr (sakinah, mawaddah wa rahmah), aamiin Allahumma aamiin! ❤

Eid Mubarak

"TaqabbalalLahu minna wa minkum, shiyamana wa shiyamakum. Ja’alanalLaahu minal aidin wal faizin wal maqbulin.”

"May Allah accept our deeds and yours, our fasting and yours. And may Allah make us amongst those who return to purity, granted glory and are accepted."

“Semoga Allah menerima amalan kami dan kamu, puasa kami dan kamu. Dan semoga Allah menjadikan kami dan kamu termasuk dalam golongan orang-orang yang kembali (dari perjuangan Ramadhan) sebagai orang yang diberi kemenangan and diberkati (diterima olehNya).”

160614

Came across this quote by 'Unknown'. How apt, to start the week :)

Walimah

I bumped into this male artist when I was at the lift lobby of Hotel Oberoi in Madina al-Munawwarah 2 years ago. My first impression of him close-up - kalem (Javanese for calm/serene personality).

AlhamdulilLah, one of his prayers have been answered by Allah SWT. BarakalLahulakuma wa barakah ‘alaikuma wa jama’a bainakuma bil khair (sakinah, mawaddah wa rahmah), amin ya Rabb!  

Hayaa'

I was talking to my cousin and I'm reminded of this podcast about QS Al-Qasas 28:23-25. In essence, it speaks about the believing women and how they engage the outside world with confidence (handling themselves well). On the other hand, their quality of shyness (standards of hayaa') was equally evident. May the Muslimah of today manifest these beautiful qualities, aamiin ya Rabb!

P/S: A birthday shout out to aunt Sofie! :)

Purity of Love

Of late, more Malaysian production houses are producing programmes with a religious theme, which is commendable (albeit the fact that I'm uncomfortable with the commercialisation aspect of things!). Nonetheless, I happened to catch this show - about a Chinese lad who fell in love with a Muslimah, amidst various challenges but with time, Allah SWT cleared the path for them, alhamdulilLah! It brought back the past, just that mine had a different twist, alhamdulilLah ala kulliy haal...

Do Not Despair

Today, I’m reminded of Hadith Qudsi where Allah’s mercy prevails over His wrath. And that we are never to have Ablasa (despair), a trait of Iblis; rather to have Raja' (hope) and adopt the Adamic disposition - upon making an error of judgment, to hasten towards repentance, return to Allah SWT  seeking His forgiveness. 

“O Allah! It is Your mercy that I hope for, so do not leave me in charge of my affairs even for a blink of an eye and rectify for me all of my affairs. None has the right to be worshipped except you. O Allah! You have placed upon us an enemy who can see our privacy and our shortcomings, whereas he and his kind spy upon us from places which we are unable to see them. O Allah! Disappoint their hopes towards us, just as You have made them disappointed in hoping to get Your Mercy (Blessings). Make them despair (in attaining their plans) towards us, just as You made them despair from seeking Your Forgiveness. Keep them away (distance) from us, just as You made them to be far-away (distance) from Your Paradise. Verily, You (O Allah) is Most Powerful over everything.” Aamiin ya Rabb!

Zul Ilyas

Spending time with the extended family has always been great. I especially love hanging out with my lil cousin Ilyas (isn't he such an angel in the photo above?). Today, he cried for not being able to play Pictureka with me as I went to grandma's rather late (he was about to go home). At the end of the day, a kiss on his head, a light squeeze of his hand and the comforting words of "don't cry, you're a big boy now right?" did the trick. Next week, I promise, ok lil fella?

Hmm, it may seem odd to the rest of the extended family that the eldest granddaughter can bond so well with the youngest grandson! To be honest, kids sometimes just need some attention and someone whom they can have an intelligent conversation with (they are like sponges that absorb and hold on to your every word!). Sometimes parents or the older siblings are distracted with other pre-occupation to give them that time. In my mind, occupying them with digital gadgets is convenient but what kids truly need is that enriching human interaction.

There is a saying, "The greatest gift you can bestow upon your child is your time and undivided attention". Indeed, it is not what you leave for your child (material), but it is what you leave in him (character). And to develop good character needs constant parent-child connection. Wa-Allahu a'lam.

Realisation

I can't help but post this photo of Hamzah Yusuf next to Johhny Depp. Besides the fact that these are two good looking men, the photo actually reminded me of dad. When I was very young, I used to be amazed at how dad could artfully snip/shave his moustache, soul patch/mouche and goatee/beard - he looked good. And I recall how he would nuzzle me a goodnight kiss (it tickled!). The more I look at the photo above, the more I realise that I actually adore the soul patch/mouche, uhuh... that inverted triangle just below the bottom lip. I think its charming on a gentleman :)

Grandma

Hearing the story from mum - how grandma was weeping, reluctant to leave her brother's hospital bed, made me weep inside. It pains me to imagine what she is going through...

Its just been less than 6 months since she lost her husband... and I could sense that although she puts on a brave and happy front (as though everything is ok now), the vision of her weeping as she kissed her husband for the very last time stuck in my head. I can't imagine, being with someone for more than 60 years and then to find yourself alone.

And now, the thought of her elder brother leaving her seems too much for her 78 year old frame to bear. O Allah! Bestow upon her the courage and patience in this time of trial, aamiin ya Rabb!

Kudos

AlhamdulilLah! Heartwarming to know that one of our brothers has decided to change for the better. May Allah SWT keeps him on the Straight Path and may his contributions benefit the Ummah, aamiin ya Rabb! I'll end this short post with a song I really like (back then), written by another brother, Taufik Batisah, and sung by Hady Mirza - simple melody, accompanied by meaningful lyrics, sung with deep sense of sincerity... and have you seen the video on dzikr? Subhaana-Allah! Go google it :)

Heroes

Masya-Allah! Just last week, on 1 Rabi'ul Akhir, the extended family welcomed the great news from cousin Adni on the arrival of her baby boy Muhammad 'Aqil Darwisy. And today just before swolat zohor, another cousin, Hidayat, welcomed his firstborne, also a baby boy, soon-to-be-named (I hope 'Said' is a name up for consideration... I miss grams alooooooooot). O Allah! Love them and love those who love them, aamiin Allahumma aamiin! Can't wait to meet these lil fellas, Luqman's playmates :)

P/S: A birthday shout out to Ryan in Canada... I've not forgotten you ;P

Taqwa-Allah

A short post today but what a timely reminder... Subhaana-Allah!

P/S: A birthday shout out to my dear cousin, Hidayat... gonna be a dad soon, excited? :)

Mama

The short discussion on Munakahat, reminded me of the sayings of Sayyidina Ali Ibn Abi Talib (above) and the Arabic concept of how Umm + Imam = Ummah. Indeed, a woman is married for four things - her wealth, family status, beauty and Deen. The wise will choose her Deen above all things.

The rights of women in Islam and how they are well-protected. Reflecting on the questions asked and stories shared, I can't help but have a smile on my face (in my mind, at least). Beautiful examples like Sayyidatina Khadijah, Sayyidatina Aishah, Sayyidatina Fatimah Az-Zahra, Fatimah bint 'Abdullah bin Al-Hassan bin Al-Hussain ibn Ali bin Abi Talib (Imam Shafi'ie's mother), Asiya bint Muzahim (Pharaoh's wife), etc. came to mind.

Truly appreciate our mothers for "The hand that rocks the cradle, rules the world." Rabbi-rhamhuma kama rabbayanee sagheeran, aamin ya Rabb! (My Lord, have mercy upon them as they did care for me when I was little, aamiin!)

Shifa'

Short post today - the past few weeks has been a great reminder on the maqsud of "Hasbuna-Allah wa Ni'mal Wakeel" (Allah Alone is Sufficient for us, and He is the Best Disposer of affairs for us) and "Hasbi Rabbi JallalLah; Maafi Qalbi GhairulLah; Nur Muhammad SallalLah; Laa ilaaha illalLah" (Sufficient is for me, my Rabb; Allah is Great; There is none in my heart besides Allah; The Light of Muhammad SAW; There is no god but Allah).

Allahuma Rabbi-nas adhhabal ba'sa, ashfi wa antashafi, la shifa' illa shifa'uka shifa' la yughadiru saqama, aamiin ya Rabb! (O Allah! The Sustainer of Mankind! Remove the illness, cure the disease. You are the One Who cures. There is no cure except Your cure. Grant us a cure that leaves no illness)

P/S: A birthday shout out to Muris in Perth... wonder how have you been doing, mate? :)

Missing Grams

His advice will remain intact at the back of my mind - such wonderful advice, AlhamdulilLah!

Ghurabah

A timely reminder to the self - Allah SWT said, "Be not sad, surely Allah is with us" (QS 9:40). Indeed, how can one considers to be lonely when Allah SWT (Sam'iun, 'Alimun) is the best Guardian? So "seek help through patience and prayer. Indeed, Allah is with the patient" (QS 2:153)... "For indeed, with hardship (will be) ease" (QS 94:5). And RasululLah SAW said, "Be in this world like a stranger or somebody passing on his way" (Hadith reported by Ibn Majah & Tirmidhi #2333)

Affinity

Al-Qurtubi said, “A person will feel an affinity with souls of one kind, and will get along with them because of the special quality that they have in common.” True indeed, masya-Allah! :)

Language

Its been awhile since I wrote any material in the Malay language... to be honest, I'm struggling at getting my grammar right, 'ala kulliy haal... Don't get me wrong, the Malay language is a beautiful language of 'orang Mulia', just that (sadly) the environment I'm in does not enable me to converse and write in Malay. The recent get-together after class was testimony to how many amongst us struggle not to abuse the language, what more preserve its 'sanctity'...

P/S: A quick birthday shout out to my dear cousin whose birthday was over the weekend :)

Alone But Not Lonely

AlhamdulilLah! Like intelligent conversations, beautiful companionships are blessings bestowed by Allah SWT, which I cherish dearly. Never would I lose sight of what is important - Islam is simple, but not simplistic and it requires the self to master the knowledge of the Deen to appreciate the significance of correct intentions, lilLahi Ta'ala. Ummi's advice sticks in my head - "Di mana pun kita berada, jaga diri dan nama baik keluarga" (loosely translated - no matter where we are, preserve one's honour and family's reputation). 

O Kiraman Katibin, I'm reminded of the supplication of Rabiatul Adawiyah - "O My Lord! I don't deserve Your blessings of Paradise. Yet, I don't have the strength to withstand Your torments of Hellfire. Thus, accept my repentance, and grant me Your forgiveness for my sins. For You are the Forgiver of great sins." Aamiin ya Rabb!

One

AlhamdulilLah! It is about time the Ummah stand united, in ranks, peacefully yet persistently sending a strong message - the need for the country to take the right step in joining the global call to stop oppressing our Muslimah at the workplace in matters of modesty. And today marks a historic turn - may the Ummah continue to seek Divine intervention and keep up with sending a consistent call for change at the workplace, especially since the 'leaders have abandoned' us. For truly, Allah SWT is with those who are oppressed. Allahu Akbar! We can never go wrong since Allah 'Azza wa Jall is our Guardian and Protector so march forward and speak the truth wa lau karihal kafirun. Allahu musta'aan!

P/S: A birthday shout out to my dearest niece, Rania, who turns 3 this month. May you grow up to be a modest Muslimah whom benefits the Deen, the family, the Ummah, and the society at large, aamiin ya Rabb! :) 

Serendipity

AlhamdulilLah, managed to shed light on what I needed to know, which has been at the back of my mind of late (learnt about Ibn Sirin along the way). I shall end the post with a nice excerpt from the movie, which dwells on the topic that there is no such thing as an accident or a coincidence; nothing happens by chance. No mere randomness; rather reflect on the lil signals. Hmm...

MardhatilLah

Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar. La ilaha il-Allah.

Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar. Wa-lilLahil-Hamd.

Uttering the Takbeer, I'm reminded of the time spent with my late grandpa (may Allah SWT have mercy on his soul) during our Umrah together. AlhamdulilLah for the opportunity to do so with him. I've learnt much from conversing with him and observing his deeds. I understood now one of his favourite sayings, which he hung at home - "Ya Ilahi, Anta Maqsudi wa Ridhoka. Anta Mathlubi A'thinii Mahabbataka wa Ma'rifataka" - miss you much, grams! :)

P/S: Happy birthday lil Irfan... although you are now 7, in my eyes you will always be my lil nephew. May Allah SWT bestow you with barakah, rahmah, rizq, taufiq and hidayah and may He perpetually sends His angels to protect you and supplicate for you as you find your place in this world as one who benefits the Ummah and strive to attain Allah's redha, aamiin ya Rabb!

No Man Is An Island

Nice video highlighting that everyone is part of a family, even organisations - we all live in webs of interdependence and what we can do collectively matters. Get it? :)

Ummi

This year's birthday for Ummi, Uncle Zol, Cousin Eddie, Cousin Adni, and Cousin Izyan in the month of September was a rather low-key affair, considering that we've just lost beloved grandpa. Nonetheless, may the years ahead be filled with Allah's blessings and bestowals. May you live a long, healthy life and may your deeds attained Allah's redha and may He be pleased with you, aamiin Allahumma aamiin!

P/S: A supplication for 'Ayahanda' (my father in religion). May Allah SWT bestow you and family countless bounties, in ways only He can, in this world and in the Hereafter, for your noble and tireless efforts - to share what is beneficial, give timely reminders, needed admonitions, invite many towards the right guidance, show us the path of goodness, help us to continuously strive in seeking the pleasure of Allah SWT so as to gain nearness to Him and hoping for His acceptance and reward, aamiin ya rabb! (Oh... and to the one who shares his birthday... may I figure out why you have been appearing in my dreams, insya-Allah)

Yai - Heartbroken No More

AlhamdulilLah! Mohd Said Bin Hj Noor, at the age of 88, had attained his peace on Monday, 26 Syawal 1434 after his solat 'Asr, a time when Allah SWT closes all the books of account for the day. This quiet man, a private man by disposition, passed away privately when everyone around him was responding to the call of adzan for 'Asr prayer. So apt! And 'alam has been grieving with the family ever since. So poignant!

I'm just glad and relieved that I was able to spend quality time with him during his last days to bear witness to the signs of his final departure and learnt much from it. I learnt that death is not something to be sad about as the heartbroken returns to The Beloved. For the Mu'min, it is a moment anticipated for the longest time. I've resolved not to grieve but to be constantly reminded of his many legacies (he would have wanted that) - that solat is of utmost priority and to have istiqomah in doing so regardless of the situation one is in as it is a sign of one who is constantly grateful for the countless bounties provided. When it comes to Allah SWT, there is no compromise.  

Grams, you'll be missed for all those lessons - being a good 'abid, consistently striving in Allah's way, seeking His redha. "O thou human being that hast attained to inner peace! Return thou unto thy Sustainer, well-pleased [and] pleasing [Him]: enter, then, together with My [other true] servants yea, enter thou My paradise!" (QS Al Fajr)

IFLA WLIC @SG 2013

(Photo courtesy of NLB)

Today, the world witnesses history in the making in the Library and Information Industry in Singapore as it hosts, for the first time ever, the International Federation of Library Association's 'World Library International Congress 2013'! I'm glad to be part of the privileged team despite the long hours on duty. I'll end this post with the photo of the NLB staff whom volunteer their time on  top of steady state work back in the office :)

Grandpa

Taqabbalallahu minna wa minkum, shiyamana wa shiyamakum. Ja’alanallaahu minal aidin wal faizin. As the blessesd Ramadhan left us with the beckoning of 1 Syawal, time was spent with grams… Talking to aunt Zee on 2 Syawal revealed much about Motor Neurone Disease (MND), also called Amyotropic Lateral Sclerosis (ALS) and Iou Gehrig's disease. It often begins with weakness of the muscles in the hands or feet especially in the elderly. It eventually leads to generalised paralysis. In the majority of cases, the intellect and memory are not affected, nor are the senses of eyesight, hearing, taste, smell and touch (which explained why gram is still alert mentally – could recognise faces and converse through written words). I’ve read medical journals that seem to conclude that MNDs and certain hematologic disorders (such as lymphoma, which grams had previously) are not coincidental but pathogenetically related. Also, it does not help that gram’s have a history of heart disease and pneumonia. May Allah SWT purify him for his final return and may he attain husnul khatimah, aamiin Allahumma aamiin!